What's In It For Me?

Have you ever been so blatant as to ask yourself, or someone else for that matter, "Ok, well what's in it for me?" I recently had a change of thought on this comment. Let me explain myself. So, as a mother of two, soon to be three, I am currently living the dream of a stay at home mom, whose duties include the endless tasks and responsibilities that come from being a mother. I can relate to the comments and posts going around and the funny memes about how motherhood = servitude, the ongoing question of why I bother cleaning up, ANYTHING, the countless hours of hard work, sweat, and tears, and moments of a broken heart when I too experience the epic "Mom Fails". But truly I do feel like I'm living dream. Because, all jokes aside, the hard work is exactly the point - THAT is what's in it for me. We live in a world today where hard work, or really any work at all, is only offered for the answer to the following question: "how little can I do, and reap the biggest reward?" Well, motherhood, does not work that way. I can only imagine waking up each day and trying to put forth as little effort as possible, and yet hoping my children turn out wonderful, successful, happy, wholesome human beings. Well how in the world would they understand at all how to get that way? My two boys are sick right now and although that's made for a bit of a crazy and tired week for mama over here, I had the most tender moment the other night while holding my littlest one and singing to him "Mary did you know?" I started thinking about the words of the song, and how ironic it is that after delivering birth to this beautiful baby boy, the Son of God, here she was looking upon the face of the soon to be man and her personal Savior, who would deliver her - both literally and spiritually. My husband made the comment, that that is so ironic, because it was through the difficulties and tender moments of motherhood, that Mary would come to be delivered. Children are the means whereby we ourselves are delivered. My imperfections-which are most clearly manifested day in and day out to my children, how beautiful, that they are the ones who change me. I see myself respond badly, or patiently, or with love, or with anger, or without thinking, or overthinking, and I learn about myself. Without the moments of being able to test that about myself, I would never come to know those sides and tendencies of myself. Some things have made me proud as a mother, gifts that I never knew I had, nor ever could have known, had I not been exposed to myself in that situation; while others have made me pour out my heart to my Father and ask Him how in the world I can change my nature. That is not something I know how to do on my own, and am currently struggling with finding the energy and will power to do so. Giving your all when you feel you have nothing left to give is difficult, and feeling the pressure and responsibility of doing it every minute of every day is harder still. Where on earth is that energy supposed to come from? I guess that's a lesson of trust to be learned - when the Savior invites us to come unto Him and cast our burdens upon Him and He will make them light. I have a lot to learn about how to do that, but I believe that by so doing so, He can not only provide the energy to make up for what I'm lacking, but can change my nature. So, what's in it for me? Well, the promise that I can become something so much better than I could ever become otherwise is what's in it for me, and that gives me hope to keep on keepin on.